Engg sucks!
by kane alexis
Summary: When Naruto signed up for civil engineering at Konoha college of engineering, he hadn't expected the college to be run by perverts, violent women and senile old people nor had he expected his classmates to be this annoying either. will Naruto find the elusive thing called 'true friendship' or will he just breeze through?


A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for being so late in updating my other story but college has been a killer lately. Anyway, I got this crazy idea of a story during the first hour of my college class and I thought, "why not convert this into a story?" and so here we are!

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**This story does not have any adventure themes, it's purely a normal college life story, well…..maybe not **_**completely**_** normal, after all, we **_**are**_** talking about Naruto and his friends.**

**And Naruto might seem a bit out of character but trust me there's reason for that.**

Don't worry I have no intention of abandoning my first story; I'll keep updating, promise!

If any errors are found, please do inform me, I'll correct them immediately. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.

Italicized words indicate emphasis/thoughts.

Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters belong to Kishimoto, not me.

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><p>EPILOGUE<p>

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><p>Naruto Uzumaki wasn't looking forward to college. Not one bit.<p>

But he tried to tell himself that it would be okay, after all he had survived high school, and college was probably not very different at all.

But as he sat in the amphitheatre of his new college waiting for the induction ceremony to be over he had a feeling he was going to be proven wrong…soon.

Tired of counting the number of grass blades of the clump of plants near him, he turned his brilliant blue eyes to face the stage, hoping the old guy from before had stopped speaking.

Fortunately for him, he had _but_ unfortunately for him, another idiot had decided to grace the stage with his sloth like movements and weird speech patterns.

"Students…..unfortunately our principal….."

He paused for a bit and then abruptly spoke,

"College is fun"

He finished and beamed brightly.

The entire stadium stared at the grinning idiot who had apparently forgotten the rest of the speech.

As if on cue, a young man came towards the old guy and whispered something in his ears, the old man whispered back into the microphone,

"_What do you mean there's more?!"_

The young man looked as if he would die of embarrassment but nevertheless continued whispering.

After several minutes of frantic whispering, the old guy turned back to face the audience and beamed once again as if he was a toothpaste model and not some boring old lecturer.

"Well, my students, it seems…."

He spaced out yet again, behind him, the young man from before gestured frantically.

Naruto sighed.

"_Why can't these idiots retire like normal people do?"_

The blonde was just about to return to counting the leaf blades when a movement caught his eyes. On stage, another old guy stood up and walked over to the other one and pushing him aside, grinned at the audience, while gesturing the young man to take way the idiot.

Now that he faced them, Naruto could see that the old man _wasn't _an old guy; in fact the man looked relatively young, about 28 or 29. Sensing the collective surprise from his fellow seat mates, he figured he wasn't the only one to make the mistake.

The feature that stood out about the man was that he had stark white hair and a mask that covered half his face and one of his eyes.

The man leered at them, yes, _leered_.

Naruto instantly made a vow never to be alone with this guy.

"Hello, my dear students! How are you? I'm extremely sorry for Mitokado sensei's ways, you see he tends to forget things….after all he is quite old"

He grinned at them brightly as if he had made the funniest joke in the world.

"Well anyways, I'll tell you all you need to know about this college and your course in his place. Since all of you re engineering students, all of you will have the same subjects in the 1st year but from 2nd year onwards, you will be taught only in your specialized subjects"

He paused and took out an orange book out of his sleeves and began reading and speaking at the same time.

For some reason, the moment the guy took out his book, several shrieks were heard from those sitting in the front rows, and Naruto wondered what they had seen.

"You will have a total of 10 subjects and 8 practicals. The university exams will be conducted in the-"

"Hey! Pervert, finish speaking, will you? I'm bored" a cold voice interrupted the speech.

Naruto turned his head to find the source who had spoken loud …..sitting next to him.

Naruto nearly had a heart attack, how had he missed this almost anorexic guy shouting right next to him? The guy was unnaturally pale and had a sort of coldness to him.

He reminded Naruto of a snowman minus the smiley.

The man with the mask looked up and smiled sweetly at the pale guy beside him.

Naruto shuddered at the sight, _that smile was not natural!_

"Why Sasuke-kun! How _marvelous_ to see you again!"

He smiled that not-so-sweet smile of his again, his eyes twinkling creepily.

Mr. Snowman didn't seem bothered,

"Kakashi, don't bother creeping m out, I'm immune to it"

If possible this only seemed to widen the smirk on mask guy's face,

"My, my Sasuke-"

But before he could complete his sentence, _another _voice interrupted him,

"Hey! Would you two idiots mind shutting up, people are trying to sleep here, you know!"

Both Mr. Snowman and Mr. Mask turned their attention to their newest opponent in insulting.

Naruto turned too only to find the boy….sitting on his other side.

Naruto _so _felt like tearing out his hair,

"_Why do idiots and insane people flock to me?!"_

Beside him, the argument continued on,

"What did you say, dog breath?" said the snowman.

The other guy grinned maniacally, and turned to Naruto,

"Can you believe this guy? Isn't he insane?"

Naruto thought _both_ of them needed a visit to a mental clinic but refrained from vocalizing it. Taking the lack of response as an affirmative, the guy continued,

"See? Even Blondie agrees with me!"

"_I wonder if murdering my college mate will affect my grades?"_

Naruto wondered.

Mr. Snowman was just about sneer back when he was interrupted by the weird guy on stage,

"Who is your new friend, _Sasuke-kun?_"He cooed coupled with his creepy smile.

This time even Mr. Snowman shuddered at the lunatic standing in front of them.

Apparently this amused the weird guy (Naruto had seen enough of this guy to stay away from him for the rest of his life) for he continued,

"Why sasu-"

But he never got to complete his sentence.

Something sailed past Naruto's head _(was that a bottle of whiskey?)_at the velocity of a mini rocket right towards the speaker, hitting him right on his head.

"KAKASHI!YOU PERVERT!"

The gawking audience watched as a middle aged woman walked, no, _stomped_ towards the stage with a brunette tagging behind with a…...pig?

Naruto was seriously having trouble processing all this, beside him the dog breath guy was laughing so hard that the person sitting in front of him was getting a full blast of dog breath.

As they watched, the woman climbed onstage and kicked him twice shouting in a thunderous voice,

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO CREEP OUT STUDENTS ON THEIR FIRST DAY?!"

Naruto was pretty far away from the stage but he was sure he heard a whimper…..

The rest of the staff onstage simple ignored all this, in fact, the old guy from before was snoring peacefully while the others were sipping tea calmly.

The woman now faced them and glared at random objects before speaking,

"I'm Tsunade Senju, your headmistress and I'll have you know this meeting is now officially dismissed, so you may leave"

Needless to say, none of them left.

All of them simple stared at her uncomprehendingly, many, including Naruto questioning the wisdom of joining this crazy college.

"What? Do you need an invitation to find your classes, brats?"Sarcasm was evident in her voice.

None of the students were crazy enough to question this seemingly violent-happy woman, not even the two idiots flanking him.

Obviously realizing she wasn't going to get any answers, she took a deep breath to calm herself which didn't appear to have much calming effect at all.

"Look brats, I'm going to say this once more, so listen carefully"

Her voice practically dripped poison, accompanied by a sweet smile which would have given even a bear a heart attack.

"I trust my _efficient _–"she turned to smile at the professors covering behind her, including the mask guy on the floor "-staff has provided you with the names of all the students in each branch, including the position of your designated classrooms?"

At her poisonous look, most were nodding furiously even before she issued her threat.

"So-"she continued"-WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

The last part was practically shouted so that most of the students in the front rows were already scrambling in different directions.

Naruto too got up, wondering where the hell the civil department would be.

He began walking in a random direction hoping he would find a map somewhere

he had only walked a little when he felt someone nudge his arm,

Naruto turned in response to find the brunette from earlier grinning excitedly at him,

"Hey, Blondie, which branch are you?" he asked curiously.

Naruto ignored his irritation at the name _Blondie,_

"_I'm probably not going to meet him ever again….so placate him, Naruto..."_

"Civil" he answered somewhat grumpily.

The brunette's eyes widened,

"No way! So am I!We're classmates!"

Before Naruto could ram his head into the nearest pillar, another voice butted in,

"Hmm…interesting…so am I..."

Naruto didn't even bother checking the identity of the person.

"Oh! Its you again! Snowman!"

"Shut up! Dog breath" came the smooth reply.

"Shut up, both of you! You guys are annoying me!"

As soon as Naruto said it, he knew these two were never going to leave him alone…for these 4 years.

"Wow! Blondie, you got game!I like you"

"My name isn't Blondie, dog breath" he retorted.

Apparently Mr. Snowman found this amusing because now he sported an annoying smirk, while the brunette simply huffed,

"Hey! So do I! Name's Kiba, Kiba Inuzuka, what's yours?"

Despite himself, Naruto found himself answering,

"Naruto Uzumaki"

Kiba grinned like this was awesome and turned to the smirking idiot,

"What's yours, snowman?"

"My name is simply none of your business" he replied,

"Why you annoying-"

"But I guess telling you wouldn't harm me, my name is Sasuke Uchiha" he finished off with a smirk.

Naruto was now considering if he should rename his newly found classmates as _Mr. idiotic grin_ and _Mr. annoying smirk._

Definitely suited them better.

Both of them turned to Naruto,

"So shall we go find our turf?"Kiba grinned.

But before Naruto could answer the familiar voice of _that _woman sounded on the stereo again,

"Oh, brats, I forgot to mention one thing-"

All the students were looking up, some curious, some scared, some shaking,

"**WELCOME TO KONOHA COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING**!"

Then as abruptly as the message came, the stereo went silent, leaving the students to ponder about the sanity of the people running this place.

Naruto sighed.

This was going to be a long_, long_ four years.

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><p>Thanks for reading this crazy plot people!<p> 


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